Spiritual Guidance – Spiritual Healing

Life is hard, isn’t it? Many times things go wrong, like Murphy’s Law, and sometimes we just lose ourselves in what we could have and should have done.

Now, I’m writing this because I have been challenged in this life, to become a better person than I was. I have a past, who doesn’t? It’s got it’s pretty parts and it’s dark parts too. What I’m trying to say is, don’t get too caught up in your [or anyone else’s] past. We all have them, but what matters is what we are doing about it, what we are learning and changing today. Because, honestly, today is all we have.

Recently I have been seeking spiritual guidance. I

tumblr_owwpa4zVvj1vekhnso1_1280go to this place called El Centro, where mediums speak of spiritualism and the practices we need to incorporate into our every day lives. Then they give you these passes to take away the negative energy from your own spirit. It sounds like a bunch of mumbo jumbo, but it’s not.

Last night began my journey of spiritual healing. I went to this place, despite my anxiety, despite wanting to hide and not bother, despite the fact that it was out of my way. I went because I want this. I want to be a better person and cleanse my soul and spirit of all the toxic and negative energy that has been collected over my 26 years of being on Earth.

The room was full of believers of the faith. I was alone, and yet, I wasn’t alone at all. But I’m not the mingling type, so I sat down in the back and I listened. Some of the teachings the mediums spoke about were: gratitude, balance, variety, patience, and the now.

 

Gratitude:

We all say that we are thankful, but how often do we show it? When we pray, how often do we say thank you instead of just asking God (or whomever you pray to) for what we need or want? When someone holds the door open for us? When someone buys us a little treat? When someone gives you a nice compliment. When someone gives you constructive criticism? When someone helps you? How often do we say thank you and how often do we show our appreciation? Not much.

I am guilty to a fault. I always say please and thank you, but sometimes I forget to pray unless I need something. Sometimes I don’t show the people around me, the people who love and care about me, how grateful I am to have them in my life. We forget, so consumed by our lives and our daily problems. It’s time to change that, however. We need to realize and show our gratitude every and any way possible. When you pray, thank God for what you already have and he shall give you more. You have to believe as well. Believe in the power and the magic of sincerity and thank yous. Help your lover cook and clean up. Help your parents out. Help your neighbor, friends, family. There are so many ways to show gratitude.

Here are some things that I am grateful for:

  • I am grateful to be alive
  • I am grateful I have people around me that love me
  • I am grateful for the strength to keep going
  • I am grateful I have a job
  • I am grateful for my father
  • I am grateful for my mother
  • I am grateful that I am able to learn and grow from my mistakes
  • I am grateful I have a bed to sleep in and food to eat
  • I am grateful that I can move, think, see, and hear.

What are you guys grateful for? Make a list. Keep it with you. Keep adding to that list.

Balance/Variety:

As humans, we get so caught up in this thing called life. We get caught up in insignificant things that keep us from actually living to our full potential. Some people work too much and have no fun at all and others have too much fun and neglect their responsibilities. Some are so focused on themselves, they forget about those around them, while some suffocate those around them and don’t take care of themselves. It’s a vicious cycle that needs to stop. You need to balance out the things you want and need to do and have variety in your life. Don’t do the same thing over and over and expect different results.

I, unfortunately, was the one who neglected taking care of myself and suffocated those around me. I kept thinking I needed to be around someone to be complete, but oh how wrong I was. I needed to spend time with myself, something I feared doing because I didn’t want to be alone. Guess what, I ended up alone and by myself. It’s not as bad as it sounds because I am growing and learning to have variety and balance in my life and in the near future I will be better for it.

Patience:

Patience isn’t exactly one of my many virtues, but I am learning to be patient and have faith in the process. I’m the type of person who likes instant result, who doesn’t? I want my acne cleanser to be instant. I want my fast-dry nail varnish to dry instantly. I want my depression and anxiety to go away instantly. We all know that life doesn’t work that way and thus why many of us give up.

I have given up a lot in the past, but obviously that hasn’t worked out well for me. I am struggling with many things in my life, but I am learning how to take care of myself and how to heal. The process is long and arduous, but it’s worth it.

When you don’t work on your patience, you tend to get derailed, you start to overthink, to worry. Nothing good comes from worrying and this I’ve learned the hard way. When you worry, you get stuck in the past, making yourself depressed or sick. How is this healthy for us? It isn’t and it’s not self-love either.

So let go, stop worrying, learn from your mistakes, have faith, and let life take its course, because when you have peace within your soul and spirit you open yourself up to the possibilities of the universe.

Now:

Right now. Not yesterday and not tomorrow, but now. Focus on what you are doing now. When you get caught up in the past, you hold yourself back. When you worry about the future, you forget to live. Remember, the past is over and gone, you can’t get it back and you can’t change it. The future doesn’t exist, so there is no use worrying over it. I know it’s cliche, but the words hold true: “Live today like there is no tomorrow.” Be the person you want to be right now. Do what you have to or want to do right now. Love yourself right now. Be thankful and show gratitude right now.

Life is happening now as I am writing this. But I feel alive. I am not wasting my now on the past or on my depression or negative thoughts and energy. No, I am taking the time to do what I love, writing. It is part of my healing process. I am also thankful that I have this knowledge that I can share with the world and hopefully help someone in need.

Be happy. Smile. You are alive!

 

 

 

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Family or Self Happiness

One of the toughest questions many have to face is, do we do what we can to make our family happy or what we need to do to make ourselves happy?

For many the answer will be different and for some it will be the same. However, only one answer will help you on your own path.

I have gone through so many situations in my life where I have chosen to help family and do what I have to just to make them happy, but I always suffered for it, just like I suffered last night. Let’s just say my mother decided to drag me into her problems and I was faced with either helping her in a time of need or forfeiting and doing what is best for myself. I wanted to do the latte, but I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. I was in the middle of a drama I had no part in and my mother didn’t appreciate it. No, I had to stay and pick up after her. But I was done. I wasn’t going to pick up after her mess when I had my own problems and life I had to deal with.

My entire life I had spent trying to make others happy and this year I decided to make myself happy and stronger and focus on what will make me happier, my own life, and fixing my own problems.

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So when faced with the aforementioned question, for me, choosing my own happiness is the right path.I have been hurt and scorned too many times to do what others think I should and trying to get others approval. I am done with that because I realised that I don’t need their approval at all, especially not to be happy. I am not going to risk my mental health and happiness for anyone. Sure I may sound like a bad person, unappreciative, etc., but nothing anyone says is going to change or deter me.I am always there for those I love, but sometimes, for their own well-being, as well as ours, you have to put your foot down and say no.

In this life, many want us to be their very own enablers and then they will stab you in the back when they don’t get that. (I don’t mean literally or even to the extent that I make it sound.) You have to be the strong one, the thinker, the empathetic yet strict one. You cant give everyone what they want and lose yourself in the process. I will not do that to myself anymore.

One of the reasons I started this journey is so that I can find my own strength and happiness not so that I can keep throwing myself under the bus for others.

Time is not of the essence

“Give yourself five minutes to be upset or angry or sad, then tell yourself ‘can’t change it’ and go about your day.”  

(My best friend wrote these words to me.)


This morning I was a mess. 

I let myself think, my mind wander, dredge through a swamp of uncertainty. Every thought landed on the past: What I could have done better, what I should have been grateful for, more loving and empathetic, and accepting.

I remembered each and every memory as I put away each article of clothing. I cried. I cried my heart out for the happiness of those times that I wanted back, times that I may never get back. I cried because the future was so uncertain and I didn’t know how much time was left. I wanted the future to come already, but not just any future, the future I had created in my head, the one I had full control over, the one where everything was was fine.

I cried some more and let the heartache wash over me until it didn’t. 

I’m worrying about a time that no longer exists and wasting my life crying over something I cannot control.

Things to think about:

  • End the delusion of time.
  • Stop trying to control what you can’t.

In the words of Eckhart Tolle: how to stop creating time?

“Realise deeply that the present moment is all you ever have. Make the NOW the primary focus of your life.”

I’m sure I have said it before that our future is never guaranteed. Tomorrow is not a certainty and guess what, it’s not written in stone either. You have the chance to do anything that you put your heart and soul into, but it starts by living and working in the now, not putting it off or worrying about what can happen tomorrow.

“Why leave something for tomorrow that can be done today?” I know we’ve all heard it time and time again.

So how do we end the delusion of time? You remove it from your mind. 

I know, easier said than done. Stop thinking about it, just stop. When a thought of the past comes up, stop. When a worry about the future comes up just stop. Change your train of thought. Think of something else, something right in front of you. 

When time is the only thing on your mind it becomes all you can think about. It becomes an obsession. 

Tolle puts it this way: “to be identified with your mind is to be trapped in time. The compulsion to live almost exclusively through memory and anticipation creates an endless preoccupation with past and future and an unwillingness to honour and acknowledge the present moment and allow it to be.”

What does this mean?

It means that if all you do is focus on the past and the future and wondering when and if , then you forget to think about and live in the now. Your mind becomes so muddle-headed that nothing else seems to matter.

“The compulsion arises because the past gives you an identity and the future holds the promise of salvation, of fulfilment in whatever form.”

Many of us affiliate with our pasts. Sure it has formed who we are today, but we must realise that we are not our past. We have transformed and learned since our earlier time so we are much different that our past. That is if we haven’t stayed stuck in a cycle of repetition. 

The future, on the other hand, we seek salvation. We think that everything will be fixed in the future, that everything will come together, and eventually what is meant to be will be, but not without you working on it, focusing your attention on the now and actually doing what needs to be done.

Earlier today, after I got my head out of the chamber of despair, a.k.a. my memories, and the looking to my future for answers, I read part of the Radical Self-love Almanac by Gala Darling.

The real problem was that I wasn’t doing anything about it. I was too busing hoping and wishing that all my problems would go away or get resolved somehow. I felt like I was doing so much yet I was doing nothing at all.

“Were these rituals just a way of making me feel like I was ‘doing the work,’ when really I was just being lazy and expecting a candle to change my life? Was I REALLY getting in there and getting my hands dirty, or was I hoping a candle would manifest blessings without any effort on my part? (Gala Darling)”

I am guilty. I have lit candles and prayed, held crystals and tried to manifest what I wanted into the world without getting the results I wanted. Not saying that it doesn’t work or that it’s a waste of time. No, this gives you something to hope for and helps you project what you want in life. But the problem is what are YOU doing about it? I did something yet nothing. 

“You’re thinking about making changes. You’re not actually doing the work or committing to it in the here and now.”

That’s exactly what I wasn’t doing. 

“I’ve since come to a deeper realisation that magic is not about lighting some incense and crossing your fingers. Magic works when you do.”

I can’t sit around and say I haven’t done this. 

I have sat around, wished and hoped, but did I ever really try, get my hands dirty? No, not really. There was honestly much more I could have been doing, for myself and others. But I was lazy and unwilling, complacent. I did things half-assed and made myself believe that I worked hard. I’m pretty sure that if I had actually worked hard, even just a little bit harder, I wouldn’t be where I am today, at least not in the same situation I am today.

Not that I know where I would have been had I done things differently, but if I Had put more focus and effort into doing: finding a good job, finishing school, etc., I would have been further than I am today. But as I said before, I was lazy and complacent where I was never moving up.

To be completely honest, I had let time constraints tell me where I should be, yet I haven’t actually done anything to get there. I’ve been waitin and expecting others to push me into that direction when in reality that is my responsibility. I need to stop and focus and do.

Go to school [and finish], find a job, make more money, actually save my money, learn to cook, clean up after myself, take responsibility, etc.

I’ve been acting like a child. 

I’ve always had someone else take responsibility for my life and having to keep after me, but aren’t I a grown ass woman? Why should everything be done for me when I am old enough and capable enough. I should be doing more and helping out more especially those who always help me and do things for me. 

What I mean by this is not spending a shit ton of money on someone, but actually emphasising, caring, and being grateful. 

I know I’m getting off on a tangent but it’s all relative. It all comes back full circle. 

When you do what needs to be done and help others you show your gratitude and you feel much more fulfilled.

I am guilty of this. I took it for granted. I was (am) a spoiled princess who helped out once in a while, just enough, but never really doing much. Unfortunately, I can’t stay stuck in the past and regret all my wrong decisions just because things have turned out they way they have, but I can learn from it and start doing more now, today and every day. 

Which brings me to the illusion of control. I am a control freak. It’s a nasty habit that I need to cut. I may be able to control my actions and feelings and words, but I can’t change the past and I can’t control the future or others. Everything will happen just as it should and I need to learn to be patient. I can’t always control everything and I have to stop worrying about what I can’t control, about what isn’t even there. 

Lessons for the soul and mind:

  • Stop letting thoughts and emotions control you.
  • Stop worrying about the past and future.
  • Work hard and put in the effort.
  • Be grateful.